Procrastination

Procrastination has been prominent in my thoughts recently. It is something I’ve always struggled with myself and often comes up in the counselling room as a struggle for clients.

Of course this is something that is a problem for everyone at one time or another: whether it’s a work project, studying for an exam, or completing household chores, procrastination can lead to stress, anxiety, and a looming sense of guilt. For some, it can be seriously debilitating and damaging to their sense of self.

Procrastination isn’t about laziness or poor time management, or at least it is not often about that. Despite having a good understanding of myself and the psychology behind what goes on behind the ‘procrastination paralysis’, I am in common with so many others who sometimes beat themselves up about being ‘lazy’ or ‘useless’, which will just make the procrastination worse.

Sometimes I just don’t think I am very good at things - I put off badly needed DIY chores because I’ve labelled myself as ‘not good at practical things’. I know this comes from being really clumsy and a ‘dreamer’ as a child and the messages I internalised about myself as a result. If we don’t challenge these unconscious labels, they can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Even though I know from experience that I can do ‘practical’ if I put my mind to it, I still put these types of jobs off. I know it doesn’t logically make sense, as here I am again, when I’ve finally got on with it, wondering why I put this off for so long.

For some, the fear of failure causes us to delay taking action because we don’t want to face the possibility of not meeting our own, or others’, expectations. For others, the fear of not doing something well comes from perfectionism, as we spend so much time obsessing over details so that everything should be done perfectly, that we prevent actual progress.

When a task feels too large or complicated, it can be overwhelming. We don’t know where to start, so we don’t start at all. Depending what else is going on my life (and therefore in my brain), I can easily hit ‘overwhelm’ with even the simplest of tasks.

Human beings are wired to seek pleasure and avoid discomfort. Procrastination can happen when we choose instant gratification, which is short-term pleasure (like watching TV or browsing social media), over long-term rewards (like completing a project). It’s easier to opt for the activities that bring immediate satisfaction than face the hard work (or difficult thoughts and emotions).

Procrastination can be due to lack of motivation. Often, the more we feel we ‘should’ do something, the less motivated we feel to do it. For me, ‘carrot’ works better than ‘stick’. I am more likely to be motivated if I can find a sense of inspiration and excitement around the task, or, if that is not possible, focusing on what I want to achieve and anticipating my sense of accomplishment when I achieve it.

Procrastination may also be a symptom of trauma or of neurodiversity. It is the brain’s defence mechanism to overload or burnout and may be disassociation, avoidance, or due to difficulties processing or focusing.

Procrastination is a habit, which means it can be managed and changed. Sometimes this is incredibly difficult and it may be an issue you will always have to manage. You can find ways to strategise and make things easier, and this might be something a counsellor or coach can help you in exploring what works for you. Sometimes a client has brought this as a problem to work on together in session and I can be this person for you. However, I believe what really makes the difference for clients is having someone who understands and accepts them, and supports them to accept and understand themselves.

Counselling can support you to identify the root causes and address the cognitive and emotional factors underlying the procrastination, so you can start to regain control.