Exploring the masks we wear: A journey through counselling
We all wear masks—adaptive behaviours and ways of presenting ourselves that we’ve developed over time to navigate the world. Sometimes these adaptations are helpful, allowing us to meet challenges or fit into social contexts with ease. Other times, they can become burdensome, especially when they mask parts of ourselves we fear are unacceptable or unlovable.
In counselling, we can explore these masks together. What purpose do they serve? Where do they help you, and where might they hold you back? And how might we address the incongruence that arises when the way we present ourselves feels at odds with what we experience internally?
The Disconnect Between Our Outer and Inner Worlds
When we mask parts of ourselves in an attempt to be more acceptable to others, it can create an exhausting incongruence. This disconnect can lead to feelings of dissociation, confusion about identity, and a sense of being stuck in a performance that doesn’t truly reflect all aspects of who we are.
The counselling process includes acknowledging the helpful adaptive behaviours you've developed, while also gently examining those that no longer serve you. By doing so, we can work toward greater harmony between your inner experiences and the way you engage with the world.
'Unmasking' in Context: ADHD and Therapy
The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy’s campaign, Unmasking ADHD through Therapy, highlights how therapy can support individuals who feel the need to mask their traits. While this is particularly relevant to ADHD, masking is a broader phenomenon that many people experience, often as a way to cope with societal pressures or internalised beliefs about acceptability.
The campaign’s video (watch it here) offers a powerful look at how therapy can support people in understanding and navigating the effects of masking.
The Benefits of Exploring Masks Through Counselling
Unpacking the masks you wear can be an enlightening and healing process, offering benefits such as:
Reduced Emotional Exhaustion: Letting go of unhelpful masking behaviours can lessen the fatigue of constant performance.
Greater Self-Compassion: By exploring the origins and purposes of your masks, you can develop a kinder understanding of yourself.
Clarity in Identity: Counselling helps make sense of the confusion that can arise from conflicting aspects of self, fostering a more cohesive and empowered sense of being.
Enhanced Relationships: Understanding and integrating the various aspects of yourself can lead to more genuine and fulfilling connections with others.
If you’ve been feeling the weight of masking or struggling with the tension between your inner and outer worlds, counselling offers a space to explore these challenges with compassion. Together, we can navigate the complexities of your identity, helping you create a life that feels more congruent and sustainable.
